Archive for August, 2009

Conquer thy fear!

August 22, 2009

Review firft, bakwaaf later.

The new Bhard and hif Pulp

Vifal Bhardwaj, of courf. Kaminey is an   O u t f t a n d i n g   movie. We don’t get much clofer to Pulp Fikfon, no Fir! The ftory, af everyone knowf, if ‘pulpy’, and henf the comparifon to the fuperlative Quentin movie, which I have to watch a fecond time, to get it. And it if a ftory, nothing more. No preaching, no larger-than-life ftuff.

The very good ftuff:

  • Kaminey is intelligent, and goadf you into ufing your brain.
  • Kaminey is very, very fubtle and nuanfed.
  • Kaminey is very claffy, and unapologetic.
  • Kaminey ekfplainf nothing. It doefn’t need to.
  • Kaminey infults a lot of people, and lotf of kindf-of-people, with fineffe.
  • Kaminey haf got fome incredible mufic, and if arranged very beautifully through the movie. Quentin, all over again!
  • Kaminey, or rather Bhardwaj, haf an unbelievable eye for detail.
  • Kaminey haf a taut ftoryline, doesn’t fag at all.
  • Kaminey haf got the beft out of all its actorf, bar none.
  • Kaminey coverf a whole gamut of iffuf; corrupfon, drugf, mafia, brotherhood, friendfhip, love, cruelty, infecurity, obfeffion, helpleffneff, AIDF…; with much elan.
  • Kaminey coverf Bombay, like no one doef.
  • Kaminey is the beft embodiment of the can-do fpirit of the Fity, that I have come acroff.
  • Kaminey rockf!

The not-fo-good ftuff:

  • It if really irritating to watch it forrounded with people who cannot recognife claff, and apprefiate it.
  • Fwine flu. Mint fayf it’f going to make a net loff of 8-10 Croref, purely due to the flu. 😦
  • Everyone, including I, keepf comparing it with Quentin’f work, which if quite unfair. Thif if, really, af far af anyone would go, confidering the cultural differenfef.
  • It really needf a fanfite to collect, difcuff and diffect all the blunt, oblique and opaque referenfef in the movie. Anyone out there liftening?

The bad ftuff:

  • Are you daft?! Nothing here!

Very Fpecial Mention: Priyanka Chopra:

The Marathi mulgi in the movie. Almoft unrecognifable. No glamour, no makeup, but what beauty! And what acting! The timing, the ekfpreffonf, the dialogue delivery, the eyef, the nofe, the lipf, the workf! W O W! Thif if a performanf I can watch for agef! I had given up on her after her very irritating Kriff (heh! heh!). Confioufly avoiding all her movies or ignoring her role till now, it waf the only fore point for me af I entered the finema hall for Kaminey. A big thank you to Priyanka and Vifal Bhardwaj.

Ekfafperated at Fmita watching it in Chennai and reviewing it, and infpired by her comment, I conquered my fear and defided to watch it on Wednefday. A Ferief of unfortunate evenf made thif endeavour quite ufeleff. A chanfe phone call to another friend, and fuddenly, it was on! I watched the movie on thurfday evening, and liked it very much. There were a few disfconnectf in the fecond half (oh yef, very literally half), and I waf ftill wondering about thofe af I watched G. I. Joe (poffible review coming up) on Friday evening. The earlier group of friendf had finally muftered enough courage to go watch Kaminey, and didn’t like it! And worfe, I got raked over the coalf for my recommendation (until then, highly valued). Quite difturbed, I tried thinking back, and couldn’t recall half the movie! Defperate, I waf, until I came acroff the frefhly-minted review by Fpike (I’m really enjoying thif now!) here.  Well, why not! The Giant dropped everything, and headed to PVR for a rematch. And it turned out to be a very good defifion! Problem waf, Thurfday evening waf the end of a headache-filled fleepy day, and therefore not the beft frame of mind for Kaminey. You need to confentrate, or you’ll miff it!! Fref in the morning, it waf a Tour-De-Forfe for the fenfef! Pulp, pulp and more pulp! Referenfe after referenfe! Homage after homage! Fet-piefe by fet-piefe! Ekfpreffion by ekfpreffion! I caught most of the referenfef, and a lot of the nuanfef, and more of the fubtelty. Needf a third viewing!!

Go watch it! And keep an eye out for the bhawre, and the mulgi, and the fweaty armpitf, and the guitar, and the ghoda, and the kurteef, and the guitar piefe near the climakf, the loo, the trainf, the….

 PF: Thif poft haf been rendered unreadable in apprefiation of Babaji, who taught uf how to ufe f for s, sh, z, x,…way back in ’04. Thankew!

Tropic Thunder

August 20, 2009

Incoming! I thought, as I imagined Juhu beach being carpet-bombed, hearing explosion after explosion tear through the white-hot sky! I wondered also, if I am still alive, and why there’s no smoke, fire, screams. The explosions subsided after a good 15 seconds (!), and I woke up to the sound of pattering rain, at the ungodly time of 5:30 in the morning. Must’ve been some lightning strike! A quick check later, I pulled up a chair to the balcony, and enjoyed the thunder and lightning show for an hour. Then, as the rains abated, the sun came out, the car cleaner below started washing cars (quite redundant, I’d say), I realized I gotta get on my feet and face another day in the rut of the rat race…sigh.

Anyway, here are two photos taken from the same chair:






PS: The movie was quite a dud, and did not merit a review. It was, however, funny in parts, and the one thing I liked about the movie was that I couldn’t recognize Tom Cruise till the end credits rolled!

PPS: The post was originally ‘posted’ on the morning of 20th August, but I foolishly deleted it while importing from Blogger. D-uh!

Lazy Sunday Brunch…Naah!

August 9, 2009

The general concept of a Lazy Sunday Brunch:

  1. Slog all week. Then you can tell yourself that you deserve this indulgence.
  2. Convince people (parents / wife / siblings / friends / colleagues etc) to make the effort.
  3. Find a suitably expensive place. (It’s not a Lazy Sunday Brunch if you host it at your home, and worse, cook!)
  4. Arrive at the suitably expensive place, suitably dressed in pyjamas.
  5. Pretend to laze around, hog on sweet stuff, talk, ogle.
  6. Wait for the phones to start ringing, and watch people leave, giving lame excuses.
  7. Leave after an hour or two.
  8. Slog all week.
  9. Get invited to the next Lazy Sunday Brunch, rinse, repeat.
My concept of a Lazy Sunday Brunch:
  1. Get up.
  2. Try and remember whether there is a Badminton and / or brunch invitation.
  3. Read HT Brunch with morning tea.
  4. Check on the laptop, play a round or two of Unreal Tournament.
  5. See if stomach still has memories of the Lazy Saturday Brunch.
  6. Sleep some more.

Yes! I have Saturdays off! Ergo, no Sunday Brunch nonsense for me. The Lazy Saturday Brunch, unlike the aforementioned monstority, is much simpler:

  1. It must be on a Saturday.
  2. Since nobody does Saturday Brunch yet, it has to be at home.
  3. It must taste good.
  4. It must have that ‘kick’, to fire your memory all week.
  5. It must be simple.

So, here’s what I had on a recent Saturday.

(Preparation Time: 10-15 minutes. Serves One. Not possible to translate name to English.)

One onion, diced into eight pieces. Half to three-fourths tomato, similarly diced. One or two green chillis. 6-7 garlic cloves. A little green coriander. Put all of the above in the grinder, in that order, and, well, grind. Put some water and grind some more to achieve consistency. Now, put a kadai on medium fire. Put some oil in it. And a little turmeric powder. Put in the masala from the grinder. Roast a bit. Put a bit of salt, and a bit of coriander powder (This is essential, it somehow counteracts any extra tanginess of the tomato, as well as any bitterness that may have crept in.) Put between three-fourths to one glass of water in it. Boil a bit. Check salt, put more if needed. Slide in a bread slice from the side so that it submerges. Slide in the next slice similarly but under the first one. This proportion will usually take three to four slices only. Move it around to break up the bread, help in absorption, and make a mess. Cook on slow (Actually, for a small portion like this, the entire process will happily work on slow) for a couple more minutes, till it looks like the disaster in the pic below. Done!

This thing also helped me get rid of the leftover bread from Friday! You can also make this with rotis or pav, only varying the quantity of water. I embellished it (the brunch, not the dish!) with half a papaya, a roasted papad, five desi ghee besan laddoos, and a tall glass of thandai in milk. Absolutely un-fine dining, but delicious!

Warning: True to the concept, this preparation is fiery, depending upon the quantity and class of chillies and garlic that are put in it, and the stomach will burn, even if the tongue does not. All the way into Monday. It is not recommended for people with tender tummies, or with stomach or acidity issues. Others, please keep chocolates / milk / water / sweets / fruits / all of it, nearby.

Might share more not-so-secret recipes after the next Lazy Saturday Brunch! Enjoy!


August 9, 2009

An instant image forms in my head, of little monsters running around in yellow jumpsuits, kimonos, and cowboy costumes, calling each other snake-names, and sparring with Hattori Hanzo swords (fake, of course); overseen by “Uncle Quentin”. Weird!